just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
