Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
