No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
this is an emotional support booty call
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
