We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't deserve a penis
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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