you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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