1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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