I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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