I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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