We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
