normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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