Whod you bang
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
