I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
