spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
