dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
