he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
