I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
