you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
