Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
