Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
false alarm, still single
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
