Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
