Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
sex in a hospital.. check
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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