Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
