We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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