he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
