My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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