Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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