sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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