my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
