So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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