i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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