I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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