Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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