K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
