He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
