Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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