Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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