I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
