Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
