So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
