I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
