I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I lost the right to judge tonight
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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