Sry I called you an 8
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
