Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
