Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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