Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
