It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
