he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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