Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
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Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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