watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
