This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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