He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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