wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
