well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
