Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
