Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
