hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
