just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
