So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
