So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
