It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
