I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
