tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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