New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...